No Scruf? No thanks!

Being half Portuguese I've struggled with hair all my life. When I was born, I came out with a full head of hair, long eyelashes and a layer of hair on my back (which makes me question my mom's honesty when she said I was the most beautiful baby in the hospital) Needless to say, being part monkey in a hairless world has had it's challenges. I started shaving my legs when I was 12, and if it weren't for my religious appointments with Camelia (the best eyebrow groomer in the world!) I'd have the fiercest unibrow! So when I heard about this group of women, who as part of their rebellion against men with unshaven faces, stopped shaving, I was intrigued.

No Scruf Is the National Organization of Social Crusaders Repulsed by Unshaven Faces. Yes, apparently there is a group of women who have banded together and are so sick and tired of men getting away with not shaving every day, they have decided to stop shaving all together!!! The founder, Terry Tarentelli, is a swimsuit model who is fed up of the shaving inequalities between men and women. She believes this social injustice has to be stopped and has decided to stop shaving alltogether (I fervently scoured the internet looking for this unshaved beauty in a swimsuit with no success!!!) I'm still not convinced that this movement is not a huge publicity stunt, but apparently many women have joined their "movement" and they regularly hold rallies.

As much as my man would like to think that a couple days growth makes him as sexy as George Michael in his "Faith" days, it doesn't (sorry honey!) and yes, when he kisses me with said growth it can be uncomfortable. But in true optimist form, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade! I take advantage of my "personal exfoliation" pad and use his scruf to scratch my back and exfoliate wherever it's needed (he usually gets tired of this quickly and shaves pronto) And yes, we as women can go on about how much more surface area we have to shave, how much longer it takes, and in the heat of the summer we have to do this EVERY DAY! But isn't this part of what makes us the "fairer" (and more superior) sex?

So for now, I'll continue with my religious hair removal and when my boyfriend is too lazy to shave and I'm sick of it, I'll continue to put him to work as my personal exfoliation pad.

And the award for best makeup artist goes to....

Eva Longoria's makeup artist!

BEFORE....




AFTER....



Suddenly I don't feel like I look so bad in the morning....

Kill me if I ever get this lonely!

Before I met my amazing man (Hi Honey!) I spent a lot of my adult life single. Though I was single, I always had enough going on in my life to keep me busy and relatively fulfilled. Sure there were long periods of time where I went without male affection and it would have been nice on some days to know you had someone of the opposite sex around to give you a hug. Apparently others out there feel the same way, and in true 21st century fashion, someone has made a club to address this lack of physical touch issue.

The Art of Loving in Vancouver, has all kinds of "interesting" seminars. Some highlights are; "The Art of flirting" (it's an "art"?), "Giving good head", "an introduction to swinging in Vancouver" (I wonder if they offer tips on how to avoid bosses and co-workers, because that would just be WRONG) and my personal favorite "Dating the ethnic man: Strategies for success". Listed along with these seminars though, is a monthly "cuddle club". For $30 a person, you get to partake in the cuddle club. For all you would be perverts who are thinking of copping a cheap feel, they bill this as competely non-sexual affair (all your clothes must stay on). But like any club, there are rules. Such as;

3.) Bring PJ’s, pillows or favorite blanket and a beverage….this can be thirsty work.

is Cuddling a sport? it doesn't usually make ME thristy!?!?!

5.) Always make a request or invite a cuddle or touch before hand.

Isn't that what you're there for? could you imagine how dejected someone would feel if they asked someone to cuddle and they said "NO" after they just paid to go and cuddle?

8.) Shower before the club party.

I'm sure everyone's thankful for this one... what would be worse than cuddling with a stranger with bad b.o!

12.) Sharing stories, making friends, laughing and perhaps crying has been known to occur.

this one time... in band camp.... what the HELL do you talk about while cuddling with someone you don't know?

14.) Thank your cuddle club friend when your inner authority tells you its time to move on or take a break.

your "inner authority"?!?!?!? is that like your "inner voice" the voices, the voices, make the voices STOP!!!!! but thanks for the cuddle....

I told my friend Tiramisu about this and she had the BEST idea... sign our boyfriends up for the cuddle seminar under the guise of a "how to give women great orgasm" seminar (payback's a bitch honey!). But now that I've blown the cover, it won't work! but DAMN! what a fine idea... I'd love to see the kind of people that go to this thing... I'm picturing the lonely middle aged accountant that shows up with his blankie and sucking his thumb!

Astrology for the dogs

I love my dog. She's an incredible ball of energy that does silly things each day. But I never knew that there are websites dedicated to doggy astrology! I've always taken astrology with a grain of salt. I'm an aquarian and when I read aquarian charachteristics, I see myself in some of them but then again they're usually written so vague that anyone can relate to some of what's written.

So for fun, I checked out Lucy's horoscope. Apparently she's a virgo (on the cusp of Libra) How funny is this?

Virgo pets are wonderful companions and make great friends. A sixth sense lets them know when you are unhappy or sick, and they are always there to comfort you. They are shy animals, preferring their own company, and are content to play by themselves. They are reserve and won't show their affections easily. Don't expect your Virgo pet to come running to you when you get home. They will gladly spend entire evenings lying at your feet or resting their head on your lap. They are fussy eaters

Lucy is a Jack Russell/mini Schnauzer cross and as you might imagine, has a TON of energy. There is NOTHING shy about her!!! When people stop by my place, she won't let anyone in until she has had a sufficient amount of belly rubs so the "shy" part couldn't be further from the truth. As for the "fussy eaters" part, I'm pretty sure it's not that common for a dog to eat cilantro leaves, ginger, mango, carrots and goose turds, but Lucy does so that cancels out the fussy part.

So if you want a laugh, here are some sites to check out your pets' astrology

Find Your Fate
Angels Astrology
Astrology Source

But can they sing?

Last summer, my guilty pleasure was a show called "Hit me baby one more time" . It was a show where they brought in one hit wonders (think PM Dawn and the group that sang 867-5309) The groups had to sing the song they made famous and another from today's top 10, the "best" group won $50,000 for their charity. I loved that show and wish they would bring it back.

So Friday night, I'm sitting at home (it was actually a nice luxury) and since there was nothing on between 9 and 10 (it was a repeat on "what not to wear" which was my first choice) I came upon this show called "But can they sing?" It's on Much More music on friday nights at 9pm. It's a collection of b list celebrities such as Morgan Fairchild, Michael Copon, Antonio Sabato Jr., Bai Ling, Joe Pantoliano, Kim Alexis, Carmine Gotti, Myrka Dellanos and Larry Holmes (I have honestly not heard of most of these people). Anyhow, said "b" list celebrities get up on stage and sing. The "best" of the non-singing celebrities win $50,000 for their charity.

It was pathetic. Morgan Fairchild sang "I believe" by Cher, the Gotti boy (who came out on stage with a super soaker water gun) sang "My Perrogative" by Bobby Brown (he didn't know the song. It was horrible. But it was like a car crash, I couldn't turn away!!!! so guess what I'm doing next friday night?

The Ultimate Prom Dresses

In honor of the 15th anniversary of my prom (has it been that long already?) I thought I'd celebrate the ultimate in prom dresses. So I've searched high and low (thanks to google) and I think I've come up with some winners (judge for yourself)

Example 1:



who knew that a salmon colored parade float could pass as a prom dress?

Example 2:

















This beauty is called "royalty" Mermaid dresses may have been cool in the 80's when bad fashion was big, but there's no excuse to carry it over into the 21st century!

Example 3:



The best part of this dress is that the "which bra should I wear with this dress?" question answers itself...











Example 4:



This one speaks VOLUMES for itself!













Example 5:



This one is actually practical! You won't have to worry about your dress feeling too tight if you over eat! (though I personnally LOVE the hair!)

Miranda/Miranda

Sex and the city has long been my favorite show. I was devastated when it was over! While I could relate most to Carrie, I loved all the characters even the overly neurotic Miranda. A few years ago, Miranda aka Cynthia Nixon came out. Look at her date... they look like twins, it looks as if they're trying to "channel" Julie Andrews in Victor/Victoria!

Now the geek you went to high school with can buy himself a date

So I heard about this website the other day and I think it's hilarious. The Millionaires club is a matchmaking service (which I consider myself to have some knowledge on, since this is how I met my man... ;) ) which caters only, to you guessed it, millionaires. So now, the geek you went to high school with (who in my experience is either a millionaire or in jail) can buy himself a date!

for $10,000 US you get the "gold" membership which includes; a year of unlimited dating in your area/one state only. (as many dates as you wish), 1/2 hour date coaching session with the dating coach in your area, 1/2 hour relationship counseling session with the relationship counselor in your area, 1/2 hour image consulting session with the image consultant in your area and 1/2 hour hypnotherapy session with the hypnotherapist in your area

Now I don't know about you, but most geeks I know need a WHOLE lot more than 1/2 hour image consulting! so, for an additional $10,000 the millionaires club will offer you a whole hour with an image consultant (as well as a hypnotherapist). Besides, what's an extra $10,000 to a millionaire anyhow?

But don't think that just ANY millionaire can join in the club. Besides, this is a reputable establishment. While you don't NEED to prove that you actually own millions of dollars, the questionnaire does ask how many houses you own and how many companies you own. And if you're a millionaire with a restraining order against you, forget it; you can't join.

Apparently all these lonely millionaires want women with the 3M's (Madonna in the bedroom, Martha Stewart in the home and Mary Poppins in the nursery) as well as someone who is educated and of course, attractive. It's free for women to join, and for a laugh, check out some of their canadian specimens. My favorite is this one (LOVE the stance...) I bet SHE cooks a mean beef tenderloin

I don't know about you, but an hour with an image consultant and an hour with a hypnotherapist STILL does not make me want to date the high school geek!

How I started 2006

This is how I started the year. No really. This was a picture taken January 1, 2006. I have no idea who the guy in the picture is but I found him on the beach in Playa Del Carmen. Before you start thinking that I'm some random slut that wanders the beach in search of men, let me clarify. I've always had this "thing" for cabana boys. I've always had this fantasy that I would have my own cabana boy to get me drinks, rub suntan lotion on me and basically cater to my beach/lounging needs. No sexual favors necessary, just cater to my needs and don't speak. (Now that I think about it, it's probably every woman's fantasy... ) So there I am, new year's day, on the beach in playa del carmen, with Tara & Mike HUNGOVER as hell and I find him; my cabana boy. I didn't ask questions. I grabbed him, passed the camera to Mike and said "this is it, this is the cabana boy". I have no idea what his name is, but in my world, he's Juan. Juan the cabana boy. All he did was get us beach chairs, not a small feat considering how packed the beach in playa del carmen is on new year's day. But in my world, he gave me a foot massage, provided margaritas and sunscreen all without saying a word.

Judging by the start of my year, I should have known it was going to be a good one. Right before Christmas, I applied to be on Manhattan Matchmaker
Manhattan Matchmaker

I had had it with my love life so when the opportunity arose, I thought; WHY not? As cheesy as it sounds, I met the man of my dreams... he has a story himself, he's "Hot Guy" from the local radio station. And now, I've been told the Vancouver Courier will be writing an article about the show and how we met. I know it's sounds like I'm an attention whore, but I'm not. I was just so fed up with the dating scene I figured I had nothing to lose...

So that's the first half of my year, I can't wait to see how the second half plays out

Oh and "hot guy" he gives a GREAT food massage (among other things... ;) )

Welcome!

Ok... so I thought I'd try this blogging thing out... what will I write about? Only time will tell... fashion? wine? cooking? funny things I see? stay tuned!