Pleasantville

Recently, some friends asked me how I was liking Germany so far and what I thought were the good (and not so good things) about my past 4 months in Germany. There are definitely lots of great things (cost of living, autobahn driving, work/life balance etc…) and some extremely challenging things (traffic, the language, the atrocity that is my pollen allergies, cost of health care etc…) but the best way to FULLY describe my German experience so far is to say it’s like the movie Pleasantville.


You see, living in Germany is almost like a throwback to the 1950’s but with some current day elements. For instance, the crime rate is extremely low and trust level extremely high. My neighbors leave their bikes unlocked, entire cases of beer in the garage next to their car and the doctor sends me a bill every few months knowing that it will eventually be paid. In the world of North America, this would be unheard of: the bikes and beer would be stolen and the doctor won’t look at you until you prove your medical coverage.


Also, the fact that this country is still fairly religious and church bells go off several times a day and of course the nothing open Sundays. I remember growing up as a kid in Montreal hearing some church bells, but I also remember them being banned because they were too bothersome.


People still call each other “frau” and “herr” in everyday conversation (the equivalent of Mr and Mrs) to be fair, this tradition seems to be mainly prevalent in the older crowd.


Despite all this, it’s still as modern a culture as everyone else and every ex pat I know has adapted to living in Pleasantville Germany quite well. People swear that they love that the shops aren’t open on Sundays (I still grocery shop on Saturdays looking like I’m preparing for a nuclear war knowing I can’t get anything the next day) In a way, it’s refreshing to have all of the modernities of life, without any of the headaches like worrying about crime rates and homelessness but I can’t help that it also feels a smidge naïve. I’m sure this isn’t the same for all cities in Germany, but that’s what Nurnberg feels like. It’s like a trip back in time… to a kinder, gentler and less hectic place. But it definitely takes some getting used to!

Things my mother taught me

I was thinking back, and I “think” this is the first mother’s day I was away from my mom. My mom and I are really close and I missed her this mother’s day. But instead of focusing on the missing her part, I looked back at some of the things she taught me. My mom was a bit unconventional to say the least, but now that in my late 30’s and can envision motherhood, I really admire that. Here are just few of the (mostly) unconventional things she taught me…
- In a pinch, white toothpaste makes a great hole filler in walls (we moved a lot!)

- Table manners and table etiquette are important. I used to hate that she used to set out full cloth napkins and wine glasses for my juice when I was a kid, but appreciate it now!

- Embrace your dreams, whatever they may be. As a teen, I used to think my mom’s “oh that’s nice honey, as long as that makes you happy” attitude to my career choices was nonchalance. I used to joke that it didn’t matter if I told her I’d become a hooker or doctor, she’d have the same response. I now know she really meant “follow your dreams”

- If you have fear, don’t let it show. My mom and I lived alone for a long time and between the 2 of us, we became really resourceful and self-reliant. I was always amazed that my mom could rewire the vacuum or hang a ceiling lamp. If it blew up, she’d turn off the fuse and start again til she got it right. When I was a teen and we caught a robber in our house, I was afraid to sleep in my bed the rest of the time we lived in that place. If she was afraid, she never showed it.

- Mayonnaise makes a great hair conditioner for dry hair. Egg whites and honey a great face mask in a hurry.

- Map reading is over rated. We would drive from Ontario to Florida every year. It was a 24 hour drive thru most of the Eastern US. Damned if my mom could read a map. Every time we made a stop, we managed to make a detour thru pretty much every ghetto from Detroit to Jacksonville. Somehow we made our way again and got to our destination every time though.

There are countless things that have been ingrained into who I am, but I'm thankful for all the life lessons that have been, are and will continue to be.  I love you mom and I miss you!

My part time job

Living in Germany has it’s challenges, but after over 3 months, I’m starting to get into the groove of things. For instance, I don’t break out into a cold sweat when someone starts talking to me in German (though, I’ve still only had 3 lessons because my German teacher has been rediscovering her Brazilian roots for the past month). Though the length and amount of traffic lights here still (and will always) drive me insane, I’m learning to accept it. And the biggest thing? I can drive a few places without my gps!


However, one thing that consumes a lot of my time, is dealing with my garbage. I don’t mean the theoretical “emotional garbage”, I mean the actual waste that I generate. Thankfully, I live alone, so I don’t generate a terrible amount of garbage, but the time it takes me to deal with my garbage is almost worthy of a part time job.


It’s not that I’m not used to recycling. In Canada, we’ve had this concept for a while and it was pretty easy: blue bag = everything recyclable, cans, bottles, paper, etc… garbage= everything else. Straightforward right?


In the "let's make things as complicated as we possibly can" world that is Germany, dealing with my garbage involves this:


- collecting bio waste (ie compost)
- regular garbage
- glass
- plastics
- paper
Pretty normal right? What’s not normal is that all of these things have to be collected separately and brought to different places. For instance, regular garbage & bio waste goes in the common bin downstairs. Glass has to be taken to bins down the street and sorted into brown, clear and green. Plastics have to be collected and put out in a common place (at the neighbors building) twice a week. Oh, and speaking of plastics, you have to put them into city issued yellow bags. When the bags run out, you can’t just go and buy more, you have to go to a special city run place (which is of course only open during work hours) and buy more. Paper gets it’s own bin (I’m lucky, also downstairs) It’s exhausting to figure out. I feel like I’m constantly taking out garbage! And to make matters worse, I just found out Germany is introducing a 6th dynamic: an orange bin. This bin is meant for “valuable recyclables” like old frying pans or broken toys. Great, this is now going to add a dimension of mystery to my garbage collection, what’s going to be considered a valuable? All I have to say is thank god I live alone, this would turn into a full time job if you had a family!

Spargel, Spargel everywhere

When I was interviewing for the job I now have, I did some research on Nurnberg and if it was a city I thought I could live in.  Surprisingly, according to wikipedia, the stats are pretty comparable to Vancouver.  Population:  Nurnberg  503,000 Vancouver 578,000.  So I thought it wouldn't be too much like living in a "small town".  And for the most part, it's not.  There's a good selection of international restaurants (including more thai restaurants per capita in the Western world!), a few decent bars and I can pretty much get a hold of anything I need.

However, the proximity to the "country side" here is as close as the wilderness was to Vancouver.  The city is surrounded by farm fields.   My office faces endless fields of canola (or rapeseed as it's called here, but I find canola a much better word)  My drive to work each day is like driving thru a salad.  Literally.  There's the red lettuce field, the green lettuce field, the rucola field, the green onion field (the most random, cause it actually smells like green onions when you drive by) and the garlic field.  Oh, and the endless spargel fields.

Spargel is white asparagus.  A delicacy in North America, but literally everywhere here that it starts to turn your stomach.  My friends had warned me that when it was spargel season you'd know, because it'd be EVERYWHERE. And let me tell you, they weren't exagerating!  On my way to work, there's at least a dozen signs advertising "frisher spargel".  Every meal at the cafeteria has a spargel component and hell, even my local big box hardware/home reno store store sells it (they also sell wine, but I digress...)

 I've researched this obsession with spargel and all I've come up with is that Germany produces 61% of the world's white asparagus.  The reason it's white is because the fields are covered with sheets to protect it from the sun.  No sun = no photosynthesis = white rather than green (good thing I paid attention in science class! ;) )

It's impossible NOT to get sick of spargel. It's practically being shoved down your throat!

Italian Road trip

One of the things I was looking forward to about living in Europe, was all the endless possibilities to discover and travel around Europe.  Other than a few visits to my friend in Frankfurt and a trip my grandmother took me on when I was 6, I haven't seen Europe. 

This weekend being the first long weekend since I've been here, I've planned a trip to head out and explore.  It was hard deciding where to go first.  The great thing about Nuremberg is that there are endless places to go within a 4 hour drive.
In the end, I decided to go to the Dolomites and do some hiking and exploring.  This picture is what sold me:

It seems quintesential "europe": cute village, amazing mountains and rolling hills.  I'm going with a girlfriend and my dog.  We're looking forward to exploring, hiking, cappucinos on patios (and maybe getting hit on by cute Italian men) and delicious food.

One of the things I always like to check out when going to a new area, is a spa or massage.  Thai massages in Thailand, Ayurvedic massages in India, hot springs in Costa Rica and a painful massage in China are some memorable adventures.   When I looked into spa treatments in the Dolomites, I came across this:

"this" is a hay bath famous in South Tyrolia.  A hay bath is meant to be relaxing, rejuvenating and can help some skin issues.  And all I can think of is "ick."  Not only do I have a wicked grass allergy that would surely give me hives, leaking eyes and nose, but I can't imagine this being relaxing (histamine overload aside)  wouldn't it be itchy as hell?  Part of me is tempted to overload on the anti-histamines and try it out of curiosity, but I fear I'll be picking hay bits out for days!

The first major language slip up

It was bound to happen.  When you learn a new language, you're bound to somehow make a food of yourself.  I remember being in Bolivia in 2000, learning Spanish and was finally feeling comfortable enough to order a meal.  I was so impressed with myself that I made it almost all the way thru.  And then, when the waiter asked me something I didn't know, I just smiled and nodded. I figured that would get me thru.  It turned out he was asking me which part of the chicken I wanted.  oh. The breast.  But I had no clue how to say breast, so, in a panic, I pointed at mine.  Well, it made Mr. Bolivian waiter's day.  I've never seen a waiter laugh so hard in my life.  Lesson learned, I'll never forget "pechuga" as long as I live.  But I thought that was all behind me.  I. was. wrong.

After over two months in Germany, I've picked up some German (my daily work is in English, though my collegues are all German and speak it regularly) but I still dread talking on the phone and avoid it at all costs.  At least in person, if anything goes wrong, there's always charades to resort to. But the time had come for me to buck up and talk on the phone in German.  I called the doctor's office to see if I could change my appointment to an earlier time.  Turns out, I hadn't properly thought thru what I was going to say.  What I meant to say was "I would like to come earlier".  I managed "I would like to come" and stopped.  I realized, I had NO clue what the world for earlier was!!!!! ooops. 

I was really, really hoping that the sentence didn't have the same connotation in German than in English, but when I told my collegue what I said, she killed herself laughing.  That could explain why the receptionist put me immediately on hold for a few minutes....

Frank the Pilates teacher

Because the past few months have been so hectic, I haven’t had time to keep up my regular exercise regime. Now that I’m finally settled in, I’m tackling getting back into shape.
Since gyms generally overwhelm me, I tried looking around for pilates classes. Last night was my first class.

I was a little overwhelmed going to a pilates class since I haven’t been in about 3 months and a lot overwhelmed that the class was going to be in German. At the beginning of class, I awkwardly told the teacher (in my Geman which sounds like a 2 year olds) that I’m new and only speak a bit of German. He asked me where I was from and said “Canada”. And that’s when the fun started.

For the most part, following along in Geman wasn’t to bad. After all, I could look at the instructor or the other students. At one point, I thought he said something like “pretend you’re eating a lemon”. I just figured maybe it was a German figure of speech or I misheard. I was wrong. He came around and demonstrated what “pretend you’re eating a lemon” was and so I tried hard not to burst out laughing.

While we were doing some sort of dry humping the ground move, he decided to get the class engaged and start a discussion on Canadian singers and having the class blurt out all famous singers from Canada. While dry humping the mat. Yeah.

Then, while we were doing some thighmaster move, he decided to starting singing, in full, Celine Dion’s “My heart will go on”. I told him that though Celine Dion is Canadian, us Canadians are more than happy to give her away.

Oddly enough, I did appreciate his odd sense of humor and his “Pilates Polizei” cracks. It made the fact I hadn’t worked out in 3 months seem less painful.

There are 10 more classes to go. I hope as hell that Frank the pilates teacher Canadian trivia doesn’t go for 10 more classes….

German Efficiency and other myths

If you’re like me, you’ve probably heard mention about how (generally) Germany is a modern and efficient country. My German grandmother (god rest her soul) used to go on and on (& on) about how things were so much better and made more sense in Germany than in Canada. Well, now that I’ve had a few months experience I share my thoughts on this.

For the most part, I’m convinced that this “German Efficiency” is a myth. I realize this is a sweeping generalization and depends on personal experience, but I’m convinced that Germany has hired a fantastic PR firm to send this message out to the rest of the world. While some things make sense, some things are utterly ridiculous.

My main beef with German efficiency is the traffic lights. I’m truly amazed at how many traffic lights there are and the length of them. Because I’m ridiculous, I’ve taken to timing them and tracking the distance between each traffic light (don’t judge- it gives me something to do other than going postal while waiting in traffic) The average length of a traffic light is a minute and about twenty seconds. The average distance between each traffic light is about 500m. Probably just a little bit longer and a little bit closer together than most major city. No big deal. The frustration starts to happen when you realize that the lights are not timed. In most places in North America, you can usually count on a “green wave” that is, if you drive the speed limit you can “usually” catch most of the lights green. In Nurnberg, it appears to be the opposite. You wait your almost minute and a half, drive 500 meters only to get the next red light. And on. And on. It’s even more ridiculous because the amount of stop lights is baffling. When there is no intersection: stop light. When there’s a pedestrian crossing; stop light (no, NOT a pedestrian controlled light) The street I drive on to get to the autobahn (and drive 200 km/h!) has about a dozen traffic lights.  So I spend a lot of time waiting in traffic.  Well, there's not really traffic, I guess the lights are that long to wait for enough of us to gather to wait for a traffic light)

Another thing that amazes me, is how traditional and religious (again, GENERALLY) the state where I live (Bavaria) is. For instance, though you can visit a (legal) prostitute and gamble on Sundays, you can’t go grocery shopping. Why? Because Sunday is the state designated “family” day and it’s against the law for grocery stores etc… to open.  Until 2003, shops were legally mandated to be open only until 6pm weekdays and until 1pm on Saturday.  Though my work is an exception, women delaying marriage and family for careers still seems to be a rarity.

Speaking of shopping, there are a lot of cool shops on my street. Little unique handcraft shops that make everything from baby clothes, to custom printed bags to purses and dog treats. I would love to check them out. However, so far, that’s proved impossible. Though these shops are located on a really quiet residential street, most of the shops open only until 5. And not on weekends. One of the stores is even only open on Mondays. And only between 3-6pm. They even have a sign up that they’ll be on holidays for the entire month of may! (I guess they need a holiday since their work hours are so stressful?!?) So the times when most residents could ACTUALLY go and support our local shops, it’s nearly impossible. I. just. Don’t. understand.

Another example I’ve found is doctors. The doctor I’ve found so far is male. However, as soon as I made any mention of any female issues, he interrupted me and told me I had to go to a “female” doctor that specialized in “female” needs.

Don’t get me wrong. My experience so far hasn’t been terrible. It’s just been “interesting”. Sure meetings start on time and you’re frowned upon if you’re late, but jay walk across a street and you’ll all but get told off (another typical German trait- passive aggression. No one will likely ever say anything to you, but you’ll get eye rolls and dirty looks)

Life in Germany is very much about “following the rules” and question nothing. If there’s a rule on something, it must be followed. There doesn’t seem to be a rule on queuing though. Go to any store and try to form a line to wait and pay and people look at you like you’re crazy. It seems to be a free for all, whoever can get to the front wins sort of motto when it comes to lining up.

So far, I’ve managed with the rules but it hasn’t been easy. My personality naturally wants to question everything and follow only the rules that suit me. I suspect this will land me in trouble someday. In the meantime, I just smile when I get dirty looks when I jay walk!

It's all fun and games until the naked German passes out on you!

Back in April of 2004, I visited my good friend J in Frankfurt. This was way before I had any notions that I’d be living in Germany and as it turns out, we now live 150km apart down the A3 (one of the many speed free autobahns… Driving 160 km/h plus *legally* on a highway will never get old…)


During my visit, J was a great hostess and we were able to tour around the Rhine and head to Paris for a few days. One of the places she took me to was a German sauna. Honestly, I can’t remember how it was described to me anymore, but even if I did, nothing would have prepared me for what I was about to experience…

A german sauna, therme, bath is usually attached to a large swimming facility. In my limited experience with them, there seems to be a “family” side and an “adult only” option. The family side usually has waterslides, hot tubs, swimming pools and would be like most similar facilities in North America. The adult side however, is another story.

The adult side usually has steam baths, saunas, whirlpools and the like, but the big difference is, you’re naked. I’m far from conservative and have been to Vancouver’s nude beach usually once per summer. But the thought of casually hanging out with my friend and her boyfriend- naked, seemed a bit disconcerting. But when in rome…
So off we went, disrobed and I tried really hard not to look anywhere below eye level when maintaining conversation. The sauna was cool and there were dozens of hot tubs, steam baths and sauna buildings. Each sauna was in a free standing building outside and would have certain let’s call them “aromatherapy events” at certain times. On a board outside the sauna, a time and scent were advertised. We went into pine I believe. The details are fuzzy because what happened afterwards is what stays in my memory.

A “saunamaster” comes in at the set time and runs the show. Literally. A little tanned man walks into the sauna wearing only a towel. He proceeds to mention what will be happening in the next 20 minutes. In German of course, so I have no clue about any of it. After getting everyone “hyped” up if you will, he starts. He sprays some oil onto the rocks and then some water. He then proceeds to whip off his towel and whirl it above his head to circulate the hot, scented air. With me, there are about 40 hot, sweaty (and largely overweight) Germans. Since I’m a wimp for any extreme temperatures, about ¾ of the way thru, I have to excuse myself because I feel like I’m gonna pass out. My friends tell me that I would be breaking the “rule” of the sauna and I can’t do that. I try to sweat it out (literally) for a few more minutes but I just can’t. I leave the sauna and will deal with the repercussions of 40 hot, sweaty, naked, overweight Germans later.
I sit on the bench outside, wait for my friends and try to cool off. As I left the sauna, an older man followed me out. He sat on the bench beside me. He was maybe mid 50’s, skinny oh and naked. A few minutes into my cool off, skinny naked man faints on me. Right. On. My. Lap. There I sit. Outside the sauna. In Germany. Not knowing. A word. Of German. With a passed out naked man on my lap. Great. Just Great. Now What? Imagine the look of surprise on my friends faces when they saw me sitting there. Thankfully, sauna master guy was behind them and came and rescued me. Thankfully, a passed out man is pretty self explanatory and I didn’t have to say anything. And my friends and I? Well, the jokes are endless, but we now say “It’s all fun and games until the naked German man passes out on you”.

The Marriage Trainer

There are some things that some people inexplicable seem to have over other people.  Take for instance, one of my childhood friends, struck by lightning twice already or the girl I know whose boyfriend has worn a good amount of money on the lottery three times.  Over the years, I've discovered my "thing".  Well, 2 things actually.  The first, a friend of mine nicknamed, parkma.  I can pretty much go anywhere and find a parking spot right where I need to.  Usually, with time still left on the meter.  It happens so often, that if I actually have to drive around the block to find a spot, I'm annoyed.  The second, is equally random, but with just as much of a success rate.

The amount of people that I've dated for 3 months or longer since I was 18 I can count on one hand.  Well, ok.  Maybe 2.  There have been many who by my choice or theirs, never made it to 3 months.  But 3 months seem to be the tipping point.  You see, the majority of people who I've dated for 3 months or more have gone on to marry the next girl they dated after me.  About 4 ex boyfriends ago, I noticed this trend.  About 3 ex boyfriends ago, it stopped being funny.  About 3 ex boyfriends ago, it became so ironic and obvious that one of my best friends suggested I turn it into a business (a tempting thought, but like some of my other great ideas, I never followed through)

It started with P, my high school sweetheart and until recently, the best guy I ever dated.  The next girl he dated after me?  married. 2 kids.  After that, there was a several year "I'm in my 20's hiatus".  Then there was B.  Actually, I don't know if B ever married the girl after me, but I do know that his basement suite got ruined by a mudslide and tree (oops!)  Then came W.  Marriage. And last I heard, a kid.  The kicker was B.  He lived in the states and was married twice before. SWORE up and down that there would NEVER be a third.  A few months after our year together, came number 3.  And baby.  There's a couple of more examples too and most recently, C.  A few months with me, less than 6 months with a new girl and BAM. marriage.

It's not like I have found guys out there who are craving marriage.  I'd say most of them were neutral to opposed to marriage.  And don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything special about my company that turns them onto marriage.  It just seems to be fluke.  That's happened more often than not!

Flash forward 2 years

2 years ago today, my marriage officially ended. Well, I mean by ended the man I married walked out. At the time, I had no clue how I was going to survive. Though I had managed to overcome a lot of challenges before, I thought everything was behind me and it was all smooth sailing. It was hands down one of the most devastating experiences of my life.

2 years later, I honestly forget I was married. I forget the anxiety I experienced in those first few weeks and months. The shame I felt for having a failed marriage and not "knowing better"
I've stopped worrying that more secrets will rear their ugly head and I can fully claim I'm over it and have been for at least a year.

What's amazing to me now though, is how much has changed in those 2 years. What I once thought of the lowest point in my life was hands down the best thing to have happened to me! Not only am I free of the narcissist jerk that was once consumed my life with his highs, lows and addictions but my life has truly taken off.

I look back on the past 2 years with awe. I've been to Thailand, chile, Argentina, china, Vietnam, Germany and backpacking thru the Yukon which alone has been a whirlwind. I've learned a lot about myself and relationships and have even found a healthy dose of self confidence.

As I sit here and type this from nurnberg, I'm thankful I was able to take advantage of the opportunity to live and work abroad, because had I still been married, I probably wouldn't have been able to.

It had taken me a lot to get down that aisle and when I did, I thought I knew what fate had in store for me. I was wrong, I couldn't have been more wrong. But I'm glad and thrilled to admit I was wrong.

In Canada, we just eat pancakes...

I have to be honest and say that I didn't know that Germany was still a (mostly) religious country.  Of course, I heard a lot of church bells during my visit but never really clued in to just how much religious holidays were celebrated.

As it happens, Ash Wednesday (or the start of lent) is this coming Wednesday.  If I remember correctly (never did pay much attention in catholic school....) this means you are supposed to give something up for six weeks until Easter.  But like all good catholics, before you give something up, you go out with a bang.  Hence, Carnival.  Or mardi gras etc...

While Louisiana has mardi gras with it's beads, alcohol and partying, Brazil has parades of samba dancers in crazy costumes and partying in the streets.  Well, Germany has it's own version.  And arguably, a little eccentric.

Though, it's not as common in Nuremberg, I met a friend for lunch today from Dusseldorf who tells me that the celebrations kick off with 'old women's day' or Altbweiben Fasching.  This was started about 150 years ago when the women got tired of the men having all the fun celebrating Karneval that they revolted.  The traditional tradition is to dress up like a witch carrying scissors and cut off the tie (or kiss) any man that you see.  The modern tradition is to dress up, start drinking shnapps at 9am, carry scissors and cut off the tie (or kiss) any man that you see.  In Dusseldorf and Koln it's so common that even supermarket cashiers take part.  This sounds like something I'm going to have to enroll my sister in law in and partake next year! ;)

The next big celebration, is rosenmontag (or rose monday)  That day, there are huge parades with bands, floatds, candy, clowns and donuts.  I don't really get the last part, but I can attest to it.  I've seen more than one clown selling donuts.  I'm not sure what the donut and clown co-relation is and I haven't been able to find out.

All of this craziness (and donuts) ends on Ash Wednesday, when Germans go back to being their serious selves and are meant to give up something for lent for 6 weeks.  And to think? In Canada, we just eat pancakes....

Germany, a month in

Hard to believe, it’s coming up on my one month anniversary of being in Germany! As I reflect on my first month of getting used to life in a new country, some things are easier to get used to than others…


The good-


The cost of living


Coming from Vancouver, where rents are some of the highest in North America, I’m amazed at how reasonable rents are! Definitely depends on area, income etc… but for the most parts, rents are very reasonable. The same goes for groceries, car insurance, furniture and well, pretty much everything. Except electronics.


My job-


So far, I’m really enjoying my job. Or well, learning about my job. Haven’t actually started actual projects yet, but soon. I love that though I work for a massive company, they’re super open minded, eager to hear my opinion and are open to change. It’s really refreshing and the opportunities and benefits are great. After my 7th month, employees are eligible for commuting expenses. Essentially, you get paid to get to work.


Driving on the autobahn-


For a speed freak like me, driving without speed limits is heavenly. Not ALL autobahns are speed free, but happily, one of them on my way to work is. I love flooring the Kia rental.


The Ex-pat support system


One of the things I was most concerned about, was having to rebuild a social circle and make new friends. Every week, I’m in awe of the people that genuinely offer their help and friendship and will go out of their way to help you. Moving here alone wasn’t easy, but already knowing I know a couple of people I can count on is priceless.


The price you see is the price you pay-


I love that whatever I shop for, whether it’s groceries, a new stereo, furniture or a cell phone contract, the price you see is the price you pay. No hidden fees are taxes. I could get used to this.


Dog friendly-


Other than grocery stores and some restaurants, I can pretty much take Lucy any where. We’ve been shopping to Ikea, on the underground, department stores, you name it.


The bad-


German radio-


I thought Vancouver radio stations were bad for repeating music. I was wrong. I’m convinced that German radio rotates about 20 songs. One of them randomly includes Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version of “Somewhere over the rainbow” It’s not unusual to hear the song 10 times a day (on various radio stations) The good thing, is they don’t seem to play Justin Beiber, however, that’s negated by their apparent infatuation with all songs Nickelback.

Sundays-


I’m not sure I can ever get used to the fact that NOTHING is open on Sundays. Bavaria, the state that I live in, is apparently very religious. Therefore Sundays are considered “family days”. Grocery stores, shops, pharmacies, you name it. It’s all closed on Sundays. You can’t even wash your car on Sundays. Strongly going against the “everything’s closed so you can go to church and hang out with your family” point, casinos are open. And there are more casinos in Nurnberg than there are Starbucks in Vancouver!


Traffic lights.


There are an amazing amount of traffic lights in Nurnberg. Not only are they amazing in sheer volume (sometimes there’s a light where there’s no intersection) but they’re amazing in length. The other day I timed one of them (as I’d been waiting so long) and the red was almost a minute and a half. The green 15 seconds. It truly defies logic.

The language-


Though I feel like I have a slight upper hand in the fact that my grandmother was German and am at least familiar with the sound of the language. But jesus, every day that I learn a new word and have hope that I’ll one day be able to learn it, someone will say something or I’ll read something and I’m convinced there’s no hope I’ll ever learn it!

The strange…

When you rent a place, you almost always have to bring your own kitchen. Most places come stripped bare and the tenant has to provide things like light fixtures, bathroom cupboards, closets and even the kitchen sink.


As many modern furniture places as there are (and there are zillions) decent shower curtain hooks don’t exist. There are only clear plastic ones or white plastic ones.
I’m sure there will be a ton of new adventures and experiences in the coming months. I have to say, so far so good. But man, is life ever exhausting!

An almond infection

Each year, around my birthday, I get some sort of throat issue. It’s so predictable, that if I was stuck on an island, without any calendar, I’d know that it was February. I remember so many birthdays were I had a fever, was so sick I couldn’t eat dinner at my favourite restaurant or that time a few years ago when I got laryngitis as a birthday gift.
This year, seems to be no different. It started out as most sore throats do and last night, when eating solid foods wasn’t an option anymore (since the pain brought tears to my eyes) I decided it was time for medical intervention. And so began my first German doctor’s visit.

The receptionist and doctor spoke perfect English so I managed to get everything across. He quickly looked down my throat and concurred that it was a really bad case of tonsilits. However, I also learned that the German word for tonsils is “madeln” which happens to be the same word for almonds. In other words, my almonds are infected.

A few bouts of birthday tonsillitis ago, I developed an allergy to penicillin. I broke out in a rash all over my body and thought I had chicken pox. That was sexy. I even had to cancel a date with a cute guy because of my “rash”. So I made sure to mention my allergy to Dr. German. I’m “pretty sure” he was joking when he said “Well, we try this, this should be ok with your pencillin allergy”. He was, after all, laughing. So, here’s hoping I don’t

Week 1 of German life

So this week was my 'real' week of German life.  Real as in starting work (or, rather attending meetings and training as I'm still waiting for my work permit), grocery shopping, banking etc...

Considering, things went not too badly. I survived my first drive on the autobahn (and enjoyed taking the rental 150km/h on the speed free autobahn) and first week on the job.  I have the rental car for only a month so one of the next things on the agenda is buying a car.  One of my least favorite tasks at the best of times.  Now I have to do it in German!

The biggest challenge though is going to be WHEN to buy a car.  Why?  Well, I'm not really sure when you're meant to get anything done in this country.  Normal work hours are 8 or 9 ish to 5 or 6 ish.  Most shops (including car dealerships) close at 6 on weekdays and are only open til noon on saturdays.  And forget Sundays.  The entire country (including grocery stores) is shut on Sundays.  So, that leaves me 3 hours a week to shop for cars. 

For the most part, I've been getting along ok.  Though I know only about 10 words of German, people are helpful and even if they don't speak English, we manage somehow with broken english, German and charades.  I took that for granted today when I went shopping.  I started getting stuff for my new apartment and started stocking up on cleaning supplies.  None of the brands were familiar to me and my 10 words of German doesn't extend to cleaning products.  So I stood in the aisle and stared.  In the end, I just picked out one of everything in the nicest packaging.  I have no idea what I ended up with.  Though I suspect the blue liquid is windex.  Everything else, will be a surprise!

A dog's life in Nuremberg

One of the funniest things of the past week, has been watching Lucy get used to German life.

Bringing her over was definitely one of my biggest fears and the thought of her being in a kennel for 15 hours made me break out in a cold sweat. This is after all a dog who’s never spent an hour in a kennel and who cowers at the noise of trucks on the street.


I was advised against drugging her so went with the natural alternative my vet recommended. It didn’t really calm her per se since she was playing Frisbee and wrestling with J right until she had to go in the kennel. Once she was put in the kennel and wheeled away by the luggage crew, I almost started crying. My poor girl, in the cargo hold of the plane for 15 hours!


When I picked her up at the luggage caroussel in Nuremberg 15 hours later, she looked a little shaken up but was no worse for wear: I was thrilled!


Since then, it’s been a grand adventure for her. Every morning we’ve gone for long walks along the river or in the moat of the castle.


One of the great things about Germany is how dog friendly it is. Dogs can pretty much go anywhere except for groceries stores and most restaurants (I say most because some let dogs in as long as they sit quietly under the table)


Cue the first grand adventure. We went to a huge electronics store to buy a blow dryer. It didn’t occur to me that she’d never been on an escalator before. She locked up all 4’s and stood in front of it and looked at me with an “are you nuts” look on her face. She very hesitantly stepped on to it but everytime we’d walk past it, would lock up all 4’s like one of those shopping carts you take past the parking lot.


Next day, time to find the closest pet store. There didn’t seem to be one directly in the city, and I don’t have the loaner car yet so we took the subway. Dogs are also allowed on the subway here (and need a special ticket) so off we went on the subway. With more escalators. The escalator was still the enemy but she managed. Then came the subway, with the gap between the platform and train, the noises, the announcement and the movement (oh and the drunk German guy who kept talking to her in German)


It’s been funny to watch her get used to German life. So far, she’s in heaven. Hour and a half long walks every day along the river, snow, sticks and now she gets to go almost everywhere I go.


Starting Monday, there’s a dog walker coming to walk her everyday to alleviate some pressure off me while I get used to the new job and commute.


Nuremberg could just be Lucy’s heaven!

Moving to Germany!

After months of planning, thinking and saying goodbye, the day had come for me to get on the plane and make the biggest move of my life: to Nuremberg, Germany.

Saying goodbye was hard.  Conciously leaving your friends, family, co-workers and newly met guy of my dreams behind was emotional.  For a fleeting moment, I wondered why on earth I was making this move when I was leaving a pretty good life behind, but as much as I was going to miss friends, family, co-worker, guy of my dreams, I knew this was something I had to do.

So after an emotional and tearful weekend of goodbyes, I was on the plane. With Lucy and 3 suitcases of my earthly possesions.

We got picked up by the relocation consultant.  One of the things that makes this move bearable is that I get essentially a "personal assistant" for 6 months.  The relocation consultant's job is to find me a place to live, do all of the work permit/tax card/registration running around, help me buy a car and basically help me get settled into life. 

After dropping off Lucy and my baggage, it was time to look at the first apartment.  Talk about no time for jet lag to set in or to pine for the life you left behind! Tuesday was packed full with apartment viewings, picking out health insurance, personal insurance, dog insurance (Germans sure like their insurance! There's even glass insurance) and town hall registration.

My head is still reeling from all that's going on, but after 3 days, I "may" have found a place to live.  It's a cute 1 bedroom apartment in a great residential neighborhood walking distance to the old city and the castle.  fingers crossed!

Moving day

As I type, there are 3 men loading all of my worldly possesions into a moving truck.  As exciting as this new prospect is, there is something quite melancholy to see all your life's possesions be packed away not to be seen for months.  I've been in this place for just over 6 years which is amazingly, the longest I've been in any one home.  As many times as I've moved, I've only had movers once.  These movers have been hired to not only load my stuff but pack it.  It is a little odd to see 3 burly guys pack your nighties away, but other than that, I'm enjoying my post on the couch watching as they work.

For the first time during this experience, I've experienced fear.  Well, more like scared shitless.  I'm giving up absolutely everything/everyone I know for a new life in Germany.  Thing is, my life here is/was pretty good.  No complaints.  Good job, good family, good social circle, the works.  But when this opportunity came along, I know I couldn't pass it up.  Yes, it'll do wonders for my career, but the experience of living and working overseas is something I've wanted to experience.  Thing is, doing it (alone nonetheless) is one hell of a nerve wracking experience!   I have no doubt this will be an amazing experience and I'm not getting cold feet.  But there is something to be said for abandoning everything you know when it's not that bad to begin with....

Pinch me, 2010

It's the last day of 2010.  To say that 2010 has been an adventurous year would be an understatement!  After a rough few years, 2010 has really made the rough times "worth it".

It started out fairly uneventfully, but then spring came and I went to my first girl guide camp.  Then I found out I was chosen to go on the NOLS month long backpacking and whitewater canoeing adventure.  A work trip to Vietnam that was memorable, being headhunted by one of the world's leading sports companies, a whirlwind "go see" trip to Germany, and here I am finishing the year in Florida with a great guy (damn you Murphy and your laws!)

As cheesy as it sounds, I feel like I've had it all this year.  And I don't want to take a hint of advantage of it and want to appreciate it every step along the way.

Less than a month from now, I'll be living in Germany starting another adventure and chapter of my life.  Well, 2010, you've proved to be amazing.  2011, you have big shoes to fill!

Landing a new job, the 2010 way.

Next month, I'll be moving to Germany.  Three months ago, I'd have called you insane for even suggesting such wildness.  Though I've spent a lot of 2010 figuring out "what next?" I never would have imagined a transatlantic move in my future.  But now, the contract is signed, the movers are scheduled and I'm super excited to be starting this new chapter in my life.

What's more incredible, is that I didn't go looking for this opportunity, it came looking for me!  Never in a million years did I imagine that when I signed up for LinkedIn, did I think it would lead me to a job. With an amazing and leading world renown company no less!  But a very incomplete profile and being part of a relevant industry group led the recruiter to me and here I am, the most exciting opportunity of my life! 

When it's meant to be...

It's funny, 3 months ago, if you told me I was going to move overseas, I would have killed myself laughing.  However, in the strange ways that life works, I'll be moving to Germany in 2 months.  Even though I've signed my contract and given notice at work, it still doesn't seem real.

It's not very often you change your job and home at the same time.  Never mind doing it halfway around the world.  Needless to say, there are things a ton of things to do and think about.  Remarkably, it's not nearly as hard as I would have imagined.  I say this with a large caveat though... it's not as hard when you get help.  Because I've signed on with an awesome company, I'm offered a relocation package that will make transitioning to my new life a whole lot easier.  Like movers.  That will come and pack all my stuff and unpack at the other end.  And a relocation person.  Quite possibly, the best thing ever offered.  I have an assigned relocation person that will help me survive in my new surroundings.  Her job is to show me around the area, set up appointments for apartments, help me buy a car, set me up with a bank account and almost anything else I need to manage my new life in a foreign land.  This service, is worth it's weight in gold.  I couldn't imagine manoevering thru this without a support person. 

I feel like there's more I should be doing right now.  But so far, I have to say, it's been smooth.  Things I thought would be difficult, like selling my car or getting out of cell phone contracts, have been ridiculously easy (the cell phone contract got transfered within an hour of being posted on craigslist and I've sold the car to a friend at a really good price in exchange for keeping it until I leave)  I guess it's all testament to the fact that when something is meant to be, it will be.  It'll happen. 

Still, it's hard to accept this is my life and this is happening.  I'm in awe, but I love it and cherish it!

New adventures

2010 has been a hell of a year. And in a good way. If anyone told me back in January, how my 2010 would turn out, I’d have slapped them silly.



It started out quietly enough, but after the adventures and excitement of my previous 2 years, it was much appreciated. The first big thing to have happened was of course my Yukon adventure. The next big thing that happened, was (I think) partially due to my Yukon adventure.


You see, when I was in the Yukon, I spent some time reflecting on life and thinking about which direction I was going to take it in. Part of that process was thinking of things I’d still like to experience in life. On that list was live and work overseas. I didn’t really have a plan as to what that would look like, but I thought I’d throw it on the list and figure it out later.


Well, 2 weeks later, the universe appeared to have figured it out for me. Less than 2 weeks later, I was on a work trip to Asia and received an email from an inhouse recruiter at Adidas. They were looking for someone with experience in the outdoor industry. Once I got more information, the job description was exactly what I was qualified for. And so, after 2 months of interviews and a quick trip to Herzogenerauch, Germany, the job was offered to me and the contract is signed.


I’m absolutely scared to death. New job, new place, new country. But it feels right. The timing in my life is perfect for this and I had no doubts on accepting the job. But it’s a big change.


I have a few fears like “will I ever be able to learn German?” Though I had a German grandmother and my mom speaks German, growing in a multicultured family meant streamlining languages and we didn’t get taught German. I do know some things like “excuse me, do you have an electrical outlet” and “this is a tablecloth” but I’m pretty sure that won’t get me very far.


I also fear developing a sudden love of euro pop and crocs. Thankfully, with the internet, I should be safe in avoiding those.
I’m sure I’ll have a ton of stories as I get ready for this new adventure, so stay tuned!!

Putting it out to the Universe

2010 has been an adventure.  Thankfully NOT in the way 2009 was an adventure.  Albeit 2009 was a necessary adventure to get me to where I am now, I'm thrilled to be finally emotionally balanced and not embarrasing myself by taking trapeze classes or wandering the world  to find myself or buying every shoe invented by mankind to make myself feel beter (they were all fun in their own way, but really? Am I ever going to strut around in 6" black patent Louboutins anytime soon?)

And so came 2010.  I started to breathe a little easier and think about the nasty "D" word I had to deal with during 2009.

The highlight thus far for sure was my NOLS Leadership course in the Yukon.  During that amazing experience, I had a chance to finally sit back and reflect on some of what I want in life.  Or at least, some of what I hope to experience.  I called it my "wish list" (bucket list is for old people and cheezy Jack Nicholson movies).  I wrote a few things and "put it out to the universe".  I'm not religious and I wouldn't even call myself spiritual.  My mom raised us with a deeply ingrained philosophy of "if it's meant to be, it'll be" and so I stand by that. 

Well, it seems like at least one of the things just might be meant to be.  I don't want to jinx anything quite yet, but one of those things is almost sure to happen.  I should know for sure next week :)  More details then!

Guest post on a mentor's blog!

I was recently asked by a mentor (and friend) to write a piece for her blog on my Yukon experience.  Nancy was my very awesome money coach for a time (until she moved to the NWT, good for her, not so much for me or my bank account...)  Nancy regularly posts money philosophy questions on her blog and one day I commented about how since I've been back from the Yukon I've been re-evaluating my life and how much "stuff" is required to live and find happiness.  I was truly honored to be asked to write the piece.  Here's the link.

Yukon backcountry is a money coach

The Post Summer Blahs

It's less than a week to go until the official end of summer and I'm already feeling the post summer blahs.  To be fair, I've only just got over my jet lag from my recent trip and I'm still processing my monthlong Yukon adventure.  But still.  I can feel the post summer blahs starting to take effect.  It's either that or the fact that I'm not used to sitting still anymore.  Considering it's been two and a half years since my life has been this "quiet".  Either scenario is likely.

The great thing about being an adult is that the post summer blahs start a little bit later than when we were kids.  For me, I could distinctly remember the summer blahs setting in a few days before school started.  Yes, there was the excitement of new school clothes and school supplies but once those were all ready to go and the sun was still shining but the nights were getting shorter and colder, you could feel that the end of summer was imminent.  And it felt.... blah. 

At least as an adult, we get to postpone the summer blahs a few weeks.  But still... it's an awkward feeling, isn't it?

Backpacking- Part 2

I made it thru week 1.  No small feat.  By this point we seem to have walked endless miles and have gone up (and back down) what feels like a million feet of elevation.  I haven't showered or used toilet paper in a week.  Oddly enough, none of this bothers me.  Partly because I know everyone else is in the same boat and partially because I'm too exhausted to care.

So far, I've learned a lot about myself.  One thing of which is that when I do something, I do it all the way.  Until this trip (I'm embarassed to say) I hadn't been backpack camping. To make matters worse, I believe I told an ex-boyfriend once that "if hell froze over" I wasn't going to backpacking.  Incidentally, I said the same thing when he mentioned wanting to go to India, as Murphy and his law have it, I've been there 5 times.  I'm pretty sure I must be insane to have never backpacked before and do a 2 week long trip as my first outing.  go big or go home.  That's me.

Because this trip is a course, specifically a leadership course, there are classes every day.  In addition, we gather around and talk about our goals and challenges.  Hands down my biggest goal (and challenge) is to just make it through the backpacking.  If I do this, it will be the biggest accomplishment I'll have achieved so far.  Thinking about the other challenges I've managed to conquer in the past few years, I think that no mountain or heavy pack will stand in my way.

Though the hikes are physically challenging, they don't kill me. I may be the slowest going uphill, but I manage to find comfort in my slow but very steady pace.  I manage to accept that this isn't a race and stop apologizing for being at the back of the pack. 

I start to find my groove, I might be the slowest hiker, but everyone in my tent group looks forward to my cooking shifts.  I become the backcountry baker extraordinaire! Pizza, pies, cinammon buns, you name it!

Eventually, it becomes my day to be leader of the day.  I'm going to have to lead a group of 4 other students that are a hell of a lot better than me at hiking!  Not intimidating at all.... right?

One of the many things my mentor/instructor instills in me is to keep being me, as a leader.  ie I don't need a lobotomy or act like Stalin to be an effective leader.  She claims that anyone can be taught to read a map but natural leadership, self awareness and the ability to build culture within a group (so she claims I bring...) are not things easily taught.  To say I'm insecure about this new role, is an understatement.  I hid my insecurities well and get our group there in one piece.  In the end, I delegated where I needed too and overall kept the group in good spirits.  wow! 

My newfound confidence slips by day 12.  Clearly, someone must want me dead.  Why else would you explain that I have to hike up 1700ft of elevation before the effect of my coffee sinks in? By the end of the day, there are 2 puffy cushions where my kneecaps used to be and I'm convinced I'll freeze to death since it starts to snow.  It's early August, I should be sitting on my deck sipping raspberry mojitos, not worrying about hypothermia.  What point was I trying to prove again???

The last day of the hiking portion, I find my groove again.  There's light at the end of the tunnel!!!! I'm not at the back of the pack anymore.  I'm now at the front.   Still with my slow and steady pace.  by the time I get to camp, I'm ecstatic.  I'm so proud I managed to finish this.  In the end, it was 109km of backpacking gaining 17,000ft of elevation with a 47lb pack.  Besides the obvious sense of accomplishment, I feel tough as nails!  Along the way, I've even picked up some self confidence and leadership skills.  All this and we're only halfway thru this adventure!

4 countries, 6 days

Ever since I stepped on my first plane at the age of 7, which, incidentally, had to make an emergency landing because a piece of satellite crashed into the windshield causing the plane to decompress, but I digress... I love flying.

Whenever I knew I was getting on a plane to go somewhere, I'd be so excited I couldn't sleep the night before. 

I also love my job.  I love it for a lot of reasons, one of which is that a couple of times a year, I get to travel for work.  Work has taken me to places I would have never imagined: India (5 times... a place I said I would never go to!), Israel, Hong Kong, China and Thailand.  Though I've done at least 2 business trips a year for the last 6 years, I still get excited to go away. 

As anyone that's ever traveled for work knows, it's hardly a party.  The days are long, busy and travel (especially thru random small indian airports) can be frustrating.  But that doesn't deter me.  I still get excited at the fact that work pays for me to go overseas and represent them. 

This trip is particularly short; all of 6 days.  But in those 6 days, my collegue and I will be hitting up 4 countries: Hong Kong, China, Vietnam and Taiwan.  That's a new record, even for me.  I'm excited to go to Vietnam and Taiwan despite they're only 2 nights and 1 night respectively.

I did however, get warned that crossing roads in Hanoi requires nerves of steel. That should be interesting....

NOLS Yukon- Part I- Week 1 of Backpacking

The morning after meeting our instructors, all 14 students headed to the NOLS warehouse.  This was the official first day of the course.  Before setting off, we had to pack our food rations and get our gear all setup.  Though I'd never backpacked before, I knew that weight was obviously an issue and I'd have to forgo some of life's luxuries.  Me and the word travelling light have never really been friends, but in the past few years, with so many trips under my belt, I thought I had a good handle on what "travelling light" meant.  Clearly, I was wrong.  Though we were going to be backpacking for 2 weeks, I was instructed to pack: rain pants, hiking pants, long johns, pants to wear around camp, a t-shirt, a warm fleece, wind shell, 2 pair of socks, 2 pair of underwear and a rain jacket.  That's it. The motto goes "Ounces equals pounds and pounds equals pain".  But I had so many questions like "What about deodorant".  Deodorant, I was told, had to be foresakened.  I had just accepted the fact that toilet paper wasn't going to be in my future for a month (a source of great anxiety) and now I had to accept the fact that I was going to be deodorant-less too????  I think not.  And so, I accepted the deodorant as my 2oz of "luxury" item and brought it along. 

Once we got seperated into our tent groups, we got all of our group food and gear and seperated it all out.  Final pack weight for the road? 47lbs.  Life on my back for the next two weeks equaled 47lbs.  This brings new meaning to the word minimalism.

We got to our trailhead late the first night.  The agenda for the morning was set: first class at 9am. 

Our first class was on how to go to the bathroom in the woods.  The most important factors were to be at least 200ft from camp and any sources of water (to avoid human waste contaminating water sources)  Our instructor taught a graphic course on all of the "natural" toilet paper options.  Rocks, moss, leaves and pinecones were all presented.  Never in a million years did I think that a pine cone would be a valid substitute for toilet paper.  I was wrong and I'll never look at pine cones the same again.  Additionally, in order to avoid bears, we'd have to be heading out to our bathroom spots in groups of at least 3.  I was nervous.  I was convinced that I was going to have performance anxiety and would not be going to the bathroom anytime soon.  This was all way too much.

After class ended, we got split up into our hiking groups and headed off.  First order of the day? Hike up 2000ft on an old mining cart trail, with my new 47lb elephant. 

Made it thru the hike.  My 2 tentmates are awesome.  We're all trying to settle into this new world of backpacking.  We quickly learn the importance of flat tent camp spots.  I wonder why they make everything for backpacking so... slippery.  Tent floor + thermarest + sleeping bags are all made of slippery fabrics.  This seems like a bad idea.  I feel like an oiled up caterpillar trying to squirm across a greased surface.  The logistics of this combined with an incline do not bode well.  Luckily, my tent mates are in the same situation and we go into hysterics about this.  So much so that we disturb the other tent groups.  Whoops.

I'm unclear as to why they call what we're doing "hiking".  Hiking to me means following some trail or having an end destination.  We have neither of those.  I'm told this is normal.  I suggest the official name for this be called "wandering" as this seems much more accurate. 

By day 3, I'm convinced that if the "wanders" don't kill me, surely the mosquitos will.  Still don't quite grasp the concept of going up a mountain only to come back down again and going to a lake that looks just like the last lake.  However, I'm here to keep an open mind.

I had visions of all of our food being dehydrated muck that I wouldn't be able to stand.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that we had a fair amount of normal things.  Staples like oats, flour, rice, spices, etc... We're given some recipes and suggestions on what to make.  I just might be in my element now and make homemade pizza over a single burner stove in the rain.  I'm starting to earn my hardcore points now.  However, because of said rain, my feet are cold and wet and are quickly approaching hypothermia.  The instructor notices this and helps solve my issue, by taking my cold, wet feet onto his chest to keep them warm.  Who knew?

It's the last day before the re-ration.  We have to be at a certain spot by a certain point to get our new food for the week.  In order to get there though, we have to hike about 12km.  On the map this doesn't look terrible.  No elevation gain, no problem.  What the map didn't show though was the bushes.  For 10 hours, we bushwhack.  And cross rivers.  About 8 times.  About 10 minutes before we get to our destination, I attempt to cross over a large fallen log.  I get stuck and my foot sinks about 10 inches into mud.  I want to die.  Right here, right now, on this log.  I have a quiet cry behind my sunglasses and pray no one sees me.  What was I thinking?  I may have made it 7 days with mosquitos, gnats, hiking up and down scree, crossing rivers all with my 47lb elephant.  I may have a tatoo on my body that says "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger" and I sure am putting it to the test right now...

Day 1 of my Yukon adventure!

I'm sitting in the gold rush saloon reflecting back on my first day and enjoying my last glass of wine for the next month.

25 years ago, my mom's boyfriend at the time, sent me to camp. His motives were to mainly be rid of me and my 13 year old attitude and angst. I had no idea what I was getting into or what it all involved. Imagine my surprise that among other things, it involved a 10 day canoe trip. Being the guy he was, he set me up with all my gear. I was the only person on that camp bus with their own paddle. A birds eye birch panel at that. I had never stepped foot in a canoe. Here I was with my own paddle!

When I got off the camp bus, the counsellors didn't know what to make of me. I showed up in a matching outfit, earrings, hair done with my own paddle.

The experience was one of the best in my life and it was the catalyst for me to enjoy a lifetime of outdoor pursuits. (and no, I haven't given up earrings!)

Today, was my Yukon trip orientation. Picking up clues from 25 years ago, I left the earrings and makeup at home. When I got here earlier this afternoon, I had an intense moment of "oh my god, I can't do this" thankfully, I breathed through it and it passed.

I met my 14 other classmates and 3 instructors. Oddly enough, one of the girls (19 if she's lucky) showed up with earrings. Well, if you can call a giant paperclip, zipper pull and bulldog clip earrings- they were in her ears)

I feel a smidge less intimidated. No one else seems to have done a trip as big as this before. As a matter if fact, most of the other students seemed shocked and so intimidated to even ask questions.

One of my first questions was the lack of toilet paper. It turns out we'll be practicing a modified bidet method: a squirt bottle. After the orientation, me and a girl a thousand times more brash than me went to the store for the perfect water bottle. Small, light, with a squeeze lid. After all, you don't want to use your regular water bottle for fear of cross contamination!

Tomorrow is gear check an rationing. Then we drive to our trail head and camp. The "real work begins Wednesday. We'll be backpacking through the Wheaton river valley until august 10th. Then we come back into town, switch for our canoe gear and paddle the highland river. I can finally say that after 3 months of getting myself worked up, I'm excited!!!

The Fashion Anti-Christ

In 4 short days, I'll be in the Yukon for a month.  For the past 3 months, I've been getting into shape, learning about myself, and experiencing every emotion from excitement to fear to anxiety.  As of tonight, all my gear is packed and ready to go.  The packing list that the school sent me is easily 12 pages long. I'm still not sure how one goes about wearing 3 pair of underwear, one pair of pants, 2 t-shrits and a pair of shorts for 30 days.  It's also hard to imagine wearing a puff jacket and long johns and sleeping in a -15C sleeping bag when all of the weather reports I find suggest that the temperature will only go as low as 7C. But the kicker, the biggest kicker of them all? crocs.. 

Since their introduction into this world, I've cringed at crocs.  Their oversized bulkiness, their primary colors, their overall FUGNESS.  I'm all about things with function and I "get" that crocs float, are lightweight and are great for boating/padding.  Fine.  Then that's where they shall be worn.  Is it acceptable for them to be worn as casualwear walking down the street?  Hell to the no. When I got a facebook invite to join the group "I don't care how comfortable you are, you look like a dumbass in those crocs" I eagerly signed up.

So imagine my panic and anxiety, when crocs were listed on my packing list "must bring" as a lightweight shoe option.  It was almost as bad as discovering that, for the next month, I won't be using toilet paper, but instead will be using "nature's toilet paper" (which happens to be smooth stones, sticks, spruce cones, leaves, moss and snow- incidentally I'm allergic to trees... but let's not go there)  I wasn't sure how I was going to tackle this bit of information (the crocs, the toilet paper, I'll deal with later-  I'm thinking that smuggling contraband toilet paper might just be necessary)

And then, like a beacon of hope, an email from one of my best girlfriends showed up in my inbox.  Until then, I suffered silently.  I let no one know my dilemma.  So when I got her email, I almost cried.  Native Shoes are made from the same lightweight floatable (incidentally, environmentally unfriendly pvc) material but have some style infused into them.  I was excited.  I could pull this off!  Look, floating, light shoes that won't make me look like a German tourist!  There was hope.

A few weeks ago, I set out on a mission to get myself a pair.  I thought of how I'd be the envy of the group.  Well, it turns out all of the main street hipsters threw a wrench into my vision.  There's not a pair to be found in the city. Or online.  Or thru bribery.  I went into the Main Street Shop (Anti-Social) and innocently enquired about my saviours.  The cantankerous owner of the shop (maybe that's why it's called Anti-Social?) barked at me without even looking up at me.  No hope of getting any until August.  At the earliest.  All hope was lost.

I tried to find SOME way of justifying wearing crocs.  What if I don't get red ones (red crocs seems to be the international symbol of "I'm a German tourist")  What if I disguise them? What if there's no photographic evidence, maybe it wouldn't have happened?  I just couldn't do it.  What's worse, is that my instructions are that said shoes must fit with a pair of socks.  Because I insisted on geting the cushiest, comfiest socks, my socks add about 2 shoe sizes to my feet.  Wow.  This was going to be a sexy look.

I went into the crocs store on Robson (trying not to pass out from the off-gasing of the pvc fumes) and tried not to panic.  It was hard.  The first rack I almost walked into was high heeled crocs.  I can't even justify that with a sarcastic comment, so I won't.  I settled on a cute(ish) pair of crocs that can pass as boat shoes.  If you squint and ignore the matte plastic sheen of the pvc and whiteout the "crocs" logo, they don't look so bad.  But with hiking socks?  Well, maybe if I don't mention to anyone on my trip that I went to fashion school, I won't get arrested by the fashion police...

Fear of the unknown

Two weeks tomorrow marks the official start of my  Yukon Grand Adventure .  In the past 3 months that I found out I was chosen for this course (from a work sponsored program) I've gone through a lot of emotions: excitement, nervousness, anxiety and fear.  I'm not even sure how I've managed to find time for these emotions since pretty much all I've been doing is training for this trip.  I know that this trip will be a one of a lifetime adventure for me, and even though I haven't even left yet, I've learned a lot about myself.

I realize that one of my greatest fears in life is a fear of the unknown.  My ex used to call me a control freak and after some soul searching while getting ready for this adventure,  I'm happy to learn, that's not accurate at all.  I don't need to be in control of a situation nor do I need things to go "my way".  I admit though, that I do like to be prepared and have an idea of what to expect when doing something.  Ironic, really, considering that a lot of the things I do are pretty spontaneous.   However, I`ve figured out that even in spontaneous situations, I have a pretty good idea of what to expect.

What I do know about this adventure, is that it`s 30 days long, involves backpacking, whitewater canoeing and carrying a backpack so heavy that anyone I`ve talked to that`s backpacked laughed at (an 85L pack with an average weight of 60lbs) and that, is pretty much all I know about what I`ll be doing for a month.  Needless to say, with my new admission of fear of the unknown, I`m scared shitless.

I have no doubt that all will end well and I`ll come back with some amazing stories (I`ve even started a pool at work where collegues can try to guess the cockamammy adventures I might find myself in) but until I get on that trail, my mind is going to run wild with possibilities.  Possibilities like:

• What will my fellow students be like? It seems like I might be by far the oldest student as the average age of the students is 18-25.
• Have I prepared enough? Or am I going to realize partway thru I'm ridiculously out of shape and can't handle it (so far, my practice hikes are with a 40lb pack)
• Am I completely off my rocker for even signing up for doing this.  All signs point to yes:  I've never even backpack camped, what made me think it'd be a good idea to do it for a month???
• Will I have the right equipment?  Everything they've suggested seems to assume it will be freezing in the Yukon.  All information I've found suggests the temperature should be between 5 and 20C.  However, they're insistent I bring a sleeping bag rated to -15C.  Considering I bake when I sleep and weight is of the utmost importance (a bag this warm is MASSIVE) I question this.
• Am I going to be able to stand not washing my hair for 30 days.  I know there will be lakes to swim in and surely they'll be freezing, but how often will we find them?
• Will I be able to survive without toilet paper for a month.  I can't believe this is even a possibility.  After I was accepted and read through the boatload of information (that still didn't tell me much) I read the part about the "no toilet paper" rule.  I almost died.  I never even considered this an option.  Of course, I knew to be ready for the woods etc... but no toilet paper?  Instead, we're to use "nature's toilet paper" which includes smooth stones, spruce cones, moss, leaves and snow.  First off, I'm allergic to trees so I'm pretty sure that cancels out that option.  I can't say I've ever looked at a rock and thought "now that is the PERFECT shape for ass wiping".  Honestly, the toilet practices are the single thing that gives me the most anxiety.  I'm really not sure how this is going to shake out (for lack of a better word)

I have no doubt that this will build character and I'll probably come out of it with a lot of blood, sweat and tears (and hopefully no meltdowns- I get emotional if I'm over tired)  Never in my life have I faced such a physically daunting task, nor have I ever faced something this big where I really don't have much clue what to expect.  Wish me luck.