Saturday, July 15, 2006

No Scruf? No thanks!

Being half Portuguese I've struggled with hair all my life. When I was born, I came out with a full head of hair, long eyelashes and a layer of hair on my back (which makes me question my mom's honesty when she said I was the most beautiful baby in the hospital) Needless to say, being part monkey in a hairless world has had it's challenges. I started shaving my legs when I was 12, and if it weren't for my religious appointments with Camelia (the best eyebrow groomer in the world!) I'd have the fiercest unibrow! So when I heard about this group of women, who as part of their rebellion against men with unshaven faces, stopped shaving, I was intrigued.

No Scruf Is the National Organization of Social Crusaders Repulsed by Unshaven Faces. Yes, apparently there is a group of women who have banded together and are so sick and tired of men getting away with not shaving every day, they have decided to stop shaving all together!!! The founder, Terry Tarentelli, is a swimsuit model who is fed up of the shaving inequalities between men and women. She believes this social injustice has to be stopped and has decided to stop shaving alltogether (I fervently scoured the internet looking for this unshaved beauty in a swimsuit with no success!!!) I'm still not convinced that this movement is not a huge publicity stunt, but apparently many women have joined their "movement" and they regularly hold rallies.

As much as my man would like to think that a couple days growth makes him as sexy as George Michael in his "Faith" days, it doesn't (sorry honey!) and yes, when he kisses me with said growth it can be uncomfortable. But in true optimist form, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade! I take advantage of my "personal exfoliation" pad and use his scruf to scratch my back and exfoliate wherever it's needed (he usually gets tired of this quickly and shaves pronto) And yes, we as women can go on about how much more surface area we have to shave, how much longer it takes, and in the heat of the summer we have to do this EVERY DAY! But isn't this part of what makes us the "fairer" (and more superior) sex?

So for now, I'll continue with my religious hair removal and when my boyfriend is too lazy to shave and I'm sick of it, I'll continue to put him to work as my personal exfoliation pad.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

And the award for best makeup artist goes to....

Eva Longoria's makeup artist!



Suddenly I don't feel like I look so bad in the morning....

Friday, July 07, 2006

Kill me if I ever get this lonely!

Before I met my amazing man (Hi Honey!) I spent a lot of my adult life single. Though I was single, I always had enough going on in my life to keep me busy and relatively fulfilled. Sure there were long periods of time where I went without male affection and it would have been nice on some days to know you had someone of the opposite sex around to give you a hug. Apparently others out there feel the same way, and in true 21st century fashion, someone has made a club to address this lack of physical touch issue.

The Art of Loving in Vancouver, has all kinds of "interesting" seminars. Some highlights are; "The Art of flirting" (it's an "art"?), "Giving good head", "an introduction to swinging in Vancouver" (I wonder if they offer tips on how to avoid bosses and co-workers, because that would just be WRONG) and my personal favorite "Dating the ethnic man: Strategies for success". Listed along with these seminars though, is a monthly "cuddle club". For $30 a person, you get to partake in the cuddle club. For all you would be perverts who are thinking of copping a cheap feel, they bill this as competely non-sexual affair (all your clothes must stay on). But like any club, there are rules. Such as;

3.) Bring PJ’s, pillows or favorite blanket and a beverage….this can be thirsty work.

is Cuddling a sport? it doesn't usually make ME thristy!?!?!

5.) Always make a request or invite a cuddle or touch before hand.

Isn't that what you're there for? could you imagine how dejected someone would feel if they asked someone to cuddle and they said "NO" after they just paid to go and cuddle?

8.) Shower before the club party.

I'm sure everyone's thankful for this one... what would be worse than cuddling with a stranger with bad b.o!

12.) Sharing stories, making friends, laughing and perhaps crying has been known to occur.

this one time... in band camp.... what the HELL do you talk about while cuddling with someone you don't know?

14.) Thank your cuddle club friend when your inner authority tells you its time to move on or take a break.

your "inner authority"?!?!?!? is that like your "inner voice" the voices, the voices, make the voices STOP!!!!! but thanks for the cuddle....

I told my friend Tiramisu about this and she had the BEST idea... sign our boyfriends up for the cuddle seminar under the guise of a "how to give women great orgasm" seminar (payback's a bitch honey!). But now that I've blown the cover, it won't work! but DAMN! what a fine idea... I'd love to see the kind of people that go to this thing... I'm picturing the lonely middle aged accountant that shows up with his blankie and sucking his thumb!