Monday, August 28, 2006

Disgustingly Fascinated

So next month, I'm off to India for work. I did it last year and to say it was interesting was an understatement. For starters, I wasn't ready for the sheer heat and humidity. I'm not kidding when I say I got off the plane and my glasses fogged up because they literally did.

Since I was going for work, I didn't get to see any of the "pretty" places such as Goa or the Taj Mahal. I saw factory towns in India and Mumbai. Mumbai is known for having the largest slums in Asia (and also the world) I think the reason that most of the international flights arrive in the middle of the night is so you literally can't see the slums (as they are right beside the airport runways)

This year, I will actually have some time to spend in Mumbai so I was looking up some things to do while in India. I came across this For the equivalent of $14Cdn, you can take a day tour of the slums (80% of the funds goes to a NGO to help run the school in the slums) My first instinct is "for God's sakes, WHY!" and then I became fascinated... I've seen them from the streets and from a car, but I've not had a reason to venture deep into them... what would I see? what would it be like? would it be life changing? A friend of a friend (who is Indian) recommended that I

"wear light coloured full sleeve shirt and full pants, NOT shorts & t shirt. Canadian immunity is no match to the bacteria found in Mumbai.
Also, do not eat or drink at the slums. "

at 40C, I'd be hard pressed to wear a long sleeve shirt and pants, I may as well wear a biohazard suit! I also like the "do not eat or drink at the slums" see the problem is I have a hard time eating ANYTHING in India! It's not that it's bad, it's just that I'm a picky (aka boring) eater and I'd rather jump out of a plane than try new foods! (besides, they have a love of masala spice in India which everything starts to taste like after two days)

It remains to be seen whether or not I will actually visit the slums (shopping in the markets may win out) but I'm sure it would be interesting!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Build a better booty

My friend Theresa (aka Tiramisu) and I have decided that we'd like to build better bodies for the end of the summer and so, we have decided to join a boot camp. It's no cheesy bootcamp where they holler and scream at you and make you wear camouflage(the instructor tried to get Tiramisu to drop and do 10 cause she was late and Tiramisu laughed at her) It's offered through Dream_Athletica and the instructor is great. But I'm not going to lie, it's hell! A typical 90 minute workout burns between 800-1200 calories (to me, it feels like 15,000)

This bootcamp takes place outdoors, 90 minutes, twice a week overlooking coal harbor. We do a wide variety of ass-kicking activities such as: running up stairs, various drills, ab exercises that I feel for three days, and my all time least favorite: running. We're lucky as we have a small group (4-5 of us) and we spend much of the first 15 minutes laughing and joking. I'm sure we'd spend the next 75 minutes laughing and joking but we're too busy wiping the sweat off our bodies. Before I joined this bootcamp, I didn't think women could sweat, just "glisten" nicely. I was wrong!

Three weeks into the six week bootcamp, I don't feel any firmer yet. Which is odd, because by now, I'd have expected rock hard abs! (I'm telling you, it's ASS kicking) The funniest exercise that we do are these "jumps". Usually we do them up a hill (which is a challenge, let me tell you) Everytime we do them, I get the song "She drives me crazy" stuck in my head. why? Because in the "She drives me crazy" video they do EXACTLY the same move! (except in cool black and yellow suits and not up a hill!)

Halfway into this, I am noticing increased energy (who am I kidding? Most days I feel like I can move mountains) but sadly, I lack the rock hard abs and smaller pant size. I did however, show everyone my new "muscle" (everyone but my boyfriend laughed, he's nicely trained) I can see the start of definition, but I suppose it's subjective!

Here's hoping the remaining 3 weeks will provide me with much needed abs!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Did someone steal the stars from the sky...

I guess single guys all over the world are discovering that cheesy lines get nothing but laughter. (I swear to God, a guy said to me in a bar once "Do you clean your pants with windex? Cause I can see myself in them")

The Mystery Method has come along to rescue these poor sods! Their best selling seminar is the Mystery Method Bootcamp. This is how they sell it:

"Imagine spending 25-30 hours over a weekend with the world's top pickup artists, who will teach you everything from how to attract beautiful women in any situation to how to find and get the type of long-term girlfriend you want. At a bootcamp, you get to see and hear Mystery's techniques - many of which are brand new and not available online or in any other program. You get to see the instructors use these techniques - live - so you can learn how it works in the real world, not in someone else’s theory. In these unscripted interactions with multiple beautiful women, the Mystery Method is put to the test every night of every program. Not only do we prove that it works; we’ll show you how it can work for YOU."

Personally, I couldn't imagine spending 25-30 hours with the world's pickup artists. I think my eyes would permanently roll back into my head and I'd be tired of saying "give up" Nonetheless, for $1600, you too can learn from the "world's pickup artists" on how to find and "get" the type of girl you want.

I prefer the old fashioned way of laughing in the face of cheesy lines. I've always said that men are so much better than women at rejection, they're so much more used to it!

Learn (& laugh) about The Method

Kermit does Miss Piggie?

As a child of the 70's, I have very fond memories of the Muppet show. If I remember correctly, the muppets were on Friday nights. Mom would give us a bath, stick us in fresh jammies and plunk us in front of the tv for our favorite show. But now, now THIS????

The Edinburgh festival has a show called "Jim Henson's Improv- Not for Children" they describe it as:

"The Jim Henson Company's renowned puppeteers demonstrate what happens when traditional comedic improvisation is mixed with the uninhibited anarchy of live puppet performance. Not your average night of improv and definitely not for children."

Nice... Apparently it's an improv show (which by definition, I would HATE!) So you know all the pervs in the audience would have Kermit "mounting" Miss Piggie. Read about it here (with any luck, it will come to the Vancouver Fringe Fest....)