The other day, I saw a book in the bookstore by the woman who wrote "eat, pray, love". It was some book about marriage and a continuation of how she found love and happiness after her soul searching of eat, pray, love. One of my pet peeves about best selling books and Hollywood movies is their feel good factor/happy ending. It's a cute idea to believe that after taking a year off to find yourself after devastating heartbreak there's a chance to find undying-happily-ever-after-love.
Though I agree that you have to open yourself up to finding love and learn from the mistakes of previous relationships, that's only part of it. You also need timing and fate on your side and, as I'm learning, geography too.
As I knock on the door to 40, I'm discovering for all of these factors to line up, the odds of this happening are akin to winning the lottery. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking on desperation's door nor do I think any relationship would ever bring "happily ever after". In fact it annoys the hell out of me that any book/magazine catering to my demographic suggests that a guy, any guy presents the possibility of happily ever after! Society, women's magazines and virginia slims cigarette ads tells me that as a woman in the 21st century, anything is possible. But they also give the subliminal (and not so subliminal) message that someday your prince will come. I'm here to say, that judging by the amount of frogs I've kissed, I'm pretty sure there are no princes left. And I'm ok with that.
That's not to say there are no great guys out there. There are, and many of my friends have found them. I would be honored and grateful for any man I met to treat me anything close to the way my brothers treat their wives. The thing is those kinds of guys are once, maybe twice in a lifetime occurrences. I can't bitch and moan that I never had the possibility of a great guy, I just didn't know it at the time because I was in my 20's and too busy running from commitment and trying to find myself at the time.
So best selling books and Hollywood movies, I defy you! I'm not sold that the next guy sitting on the plane next to me is going to be my soulmate or that some guy is going to be standing at the top of an escalator drawn to my new perfume and tell me he's been waiting for me his whole life. For if he did, I would surely laugh at him or be too skeptical and send him packing.
Of course I would love to share my life with someone again one day, but I don't have any romantic notions of how and when it'll happen. I'm smart enough now to know not to run if a great guy comes my way, impatient to keep living and enjoying my life yet
realistic enough to know should I be lucky enough for him to come my way, happily ever after, it does not mean!
No comments:
Post a Comment