How to lose an organ in every European country or Katherine’s guide to European surgery

2 surgeries in 6 months, in 2 different countries isn’t exactly my idea of a wild time.  But as fate has it, that’s what in store for me.  And because of all the fun 2012 has handed me, I reserve the right to be angry at fate.

Right before I left Germany, I had appendicitis and my appendix was taken out.  As it happens, when they were taking it out, they discovered some of my other bits were infected.  I was given heavy duty antibiotics so that my ovary wouldn’t “explode” (the doctor’s actual words)  Going thru surgery in German wasn’t as bad as I thought.  It turns out you can get creative with surgery charades.  Signing a bunch of forms in German on painkillers also wasn’t my idea of wild time.  But I coped.  And other than the sexy white thigh thighs and a roommate who snored like a bear, it was tolerable.

Flash forward to 6 months later, I’ve been in pain ever since.  I’ve been too busy getting used to the new job and new country to really do much about until lately.   On Friday, I finally got in to see a specialist and was half expecting him to say that what I had was normal and would go away (since no test so far suggests anything) Instead he told me that once your ovary was infected, it could stay infected for the rest of your life and may never get picked up on.  He wanted to put me in for surgery Monday but thankfully the earliest date available was Wednesday.

Now, I’ve never lived my life conventionally and have tended to do the opposite of what everyone else is doing at the time, so it’s no surprise that while all these babies and pregnant people are in my life, I’m about to get a reproductive organ pulled out.

However, this time since I know what’s coming, I’m a bit scared.  Not scared of the actual surgery: I couldn’t be in better hands, my Swiss doctor is Harvard trained and Swiss medical care makes Canada’s look like 3^rd world health care.  Scared because for even a short time, I’m going to be losing my independence and mobility.   Last time I was lucky because I had a few friends stay with me.  Getting laproscopy isn’t so bad because the healing time is much shorter, but because they fill your tummy full of C02, afterwards you feel like you’ve been hit in the gut by Mike Tyson.  You don’t realize the stomach muscles you use every day until you get laproscopy.  Coughing? Ouch!  Sneezing? Criminal!  Getting out of bed? Logistically challenging and Laughing? Well, forget about it.

So here I am, living in a new country for 5 months with my dog and about to undergo surgery.  I’ve accepted that I’ll have to be dependent on new friends for a while.   I’m “actually” going to go out and ask for help, which for me, is a big thing.  So I guess things happen for a reason, my pain will be fixed and I’ll be faced to deal with one of my biggest fears, but like Conan O’Brien once said in a great commencement speech, “there’s nothing more liberating than having your worst fears realized”  well, I’ll let you know how that works out next week!