Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The art of flirting


Flirting is an art. And just like any art, it’s subjective. Hard to judge if someone is good, bad or indifferent at it. An art, which I’m convinced, I’m TERRIBLE at. How am I convinced? A few weeks ago, I was at a bar with friends. A guy came up to my girlfriend and I and asked us to talk to his friend (I know, I know…) apparently his friend had just been dumped by his girlfriend and we were recruited to cheer him up. In exchange for our services, we’d be bought a drink.

The guy did genuinely look depressed. He was sitting in a suit at the edge of the bar practically crying into his gin and tonic. It didn’t get more depressing for him than this. Enter my friend (blonde, pretty, the works) she smiles at him flirtatiously and we both say “hi” she with that little extra twinkle in her eye (note- she is attached) Some mild exchange continues and then she says to him “I love your suit, I love a guy in a suit, soooooo sexy” that talked him off the edge a bit and he actually smiled. Wow. Is this what flirting was? I’m so lost. I thought that just randomly going up and talking to someone was flirting enough. Clearly. I. was wrong.

Genuinely feeling sorry for the guy (he really was in rough shape) I tried to prod the situation a bit. What did he do? What brought him here? Etc… then I just turned and told him “look, clearly whatever it is you’re upset about is serious. But I’m telling you, no girl/guy/job/whatever is worth being that upset over. You look like you’re about to step off the edge. Yes, life sucks sometimes, but we can make it through” I’m pretty sure that right there sealed my “F” in flirting. He then opened up and told me about this girl in Japan he was seeing and broke his heart, blah blah blah… I sincerely told him I was sorry for him. But if it made him feel any better, a year ago that day, my husband (at the time) walked out. Yes, he also happened to be the biggest douche in the world and a lot of the past year was crazy, but here I was out with friends (albeit a year later) with a smile on my face. Surely if I could do it, he could. Oddly enough, this cheered him up. Basically, I made him feel better by my crappy story. It made me feel better that though I was a failure at flirting, I could at least cheer someone up.

Flash forward a few weeks later… I host a dinner party at my place and invite a fellow over who I’ve met once and curious to get to know. There’s chatting and I’m attempting to flirt. I suspect there’s some flirting back. A comment here about my meticulously grommed eyebrows, a touchy tap on the shoulder on the way to the washroom, decent eye contact, you get the idea. I was trying to make it seem like I was flirting back. Did I deliver? Who knows! I guess I’ll wait to see if he calls, or do I call him? Oh god. That brings on a whole other game!!!!

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