Friday, January 15, 2010

Plenty of fish, but are there any worth keeping?

So one of my first forrays into the dating world was to try this online dating thing.  Afterall, whenever people hear you're single, the first thing they seem to tell you is how "so and so" met their girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife blah blah blah on such and such dating website.  So I thought, why not? Plenty of fish is free so what have I got to lose?

There may be plenty of fish, but most of them you want to throw back.  In my very unscientific experiment, it goes like this:

80% of the guys won't get back to you
10% are just downright odd
10% are worth getting to know

* editors note- My figures have been rounded up for ease of convenience.

I wrote what I thought was a fairly accurate description of myself with accurate pictures.  In my profile, I indicate that I have a dog, a sense of humor (so I think), my interests, music I like (ie Franz Ferdinand) , my love of Foreign movies (I love you Almodovar) and my overall "down to earthness".  I thought between the pics and write up, it would convey the fact that I was a pretty good catch (sorry, couldn't resist!) Or, my friends and family have been lying to me for years!

With my newfound confidence, I started emailing some guys who I thought were cute and seemed interesting in html. Nada. What's worse? On this plenty of fish (or as regulars call it: p.o.f) you can see when someone's read and (horror!) deleted your message.  So after 10 or so "read" and "deleted" messages, my ego couldn't take it anymore so I took the passive approach: let them find me.

Well, to be fair, some guys did email me.  Here are some of the lowlights...

one guy emailed me with this message "my GF thinks ur hot?"
Awesome. well, at least someone thinks I'm hot! but your girlfriend? dude, wrong website!

One verbose fellow thought my Franz Ferdinand reference was relating to the 15th century emperor. (ummm..yeah, appreciate the history but no...) he also told me that layoffs in the public sector might mean a change in address for him (he was from the island) suggesting what? he could be my roommate? I'm sorry, but if the words "moreover" "estimation" and "Deweyian" appear in our first communication, we're probably not gonna get along.

and my personal favorite? the guy who wrote If you like to be serenaded by your favorite love balads and treated like a lady, I will keep you smiling.  I'm sure most girls would think it's awfully sweet and adorable, but really? When I picture myself dating, do I picture someguy sitting there belting out Luther Vandross tunes? ah. no! (but it would make me laugh..sadly, I don't think he was kidding)

There are plenty more, but those are the highlights.  It hasn't all been in vain though.  I had the BEST and wittiest exchange with one fellow.  The back and forth emails had me smiling.  We met to make sure the chemistry felt right. To me, it did. That led to witty text messaging and a 2nd date.  Will there be a third? I don't know, but I'm hoping so.  I'm afraid of that damn fish pond!

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